Reflections & Responses

Well, that certainly is rather eloquent. I would say that I tend to agree with everything you have said here. I have, I I remember having been on some hallucinogenic drugs. Had a similar thought. I don't know if I ever told it to you or not about the idea of, yeah, thoughts and actions kind of, you know, being two parts of some kind of a system.

That's very, I don't know. At the time, it felt like a clear thing they were part of. I didn't even need to articulate it. Whatever it was, you know, our systems that we run regularly, whatever. Yeah, I I I do I do believe that they are um they're like that.

It's like yeah you think it, you think about it, you think about all the options, you try to find the best one that's the most realistic, most likely to work for you. You do or not necessarily that you should do that, but maybe I would say you should do that if you're a person trying to do good in the world, for example, or anything in the world really. Um, yep, and then you act on it. Um, and then oftentimes you fail. And then you have to try again, fail again, try again, fail again, get better hopefully at some point.

Um, I guess that's kind of what you're talking about in the beginning. It's funny I started out talking about the part you said towards the end, ended up saying what you said at the beginning. Yeah, maybe the thoughts are related. I don't know. Maybe it's just because I just read them both.

But um, yeah, it's pretty interesting. I guess. I don't know. Um. Yeah.

Wearing arrogance as armor is pretty, uh, pretty classic technique. Pretty, uh, I could see where that could be the case for you, I guess. Yeah. that’s pretty funny.

Okay, well number two feels like it comes off almost like a request for a forecast on potential evil, you know, to come and cause a storm in your life. So I guess I'll try to predict. It's gonna be hard for me to do this without contextualizing. I'm a bit sleep deprived here, and the contextualization is gonna look like me thinking out loud about what it is like for me and how I think there could be differences and what those differences could. Look like.

So you just have to bear with me as I walk through this out loud using speech to text. You can skip this part if you want to. And now I hesitate to record. potential liabilities about myself. I guess I would just say, oh, well. I think for you the forms of evil probably would be less sexual.

I would say mine tend to mostly just mostly be sexual for the most part, because it's like that's like the realm where morality breaks down a bit, and it's like you know through subverting or. tweaking or even you know engineering different systems out of what would normally be perceived to be a moral system. well, or rather what can occur is actually right. And, so. and, I feel like for you it normally comes through like when I sense these like inclinations within you like on like a vibe level it always kind of feels well as you articulate to some degree in the previous note about you know wearing arrogance as armor I guess it was to hide your shame I wasn't always necessarily sure why yeah it's like well. Maybe that could be one form that I do think about is like, okay, he's uh almost it almost strikes you or me as like dumb when it happens. Is like if you're doing this arrogance thing, it almost strikes me as like dumb or not even foolish, but really dumb. I would think this is a maybe foolish is a better way to think about it though.

You know, I mean it hasn't occurred in a while, so perhaps my framing was from a younger mind as well, but. Yeah, um. Whatever you call it, I mean, a mistake, the same really, and mistakes can be the causes of evil. Um. So perhaps one cause could be this inclination to, I guess, protect your shame.

I mean, or in any event, use arrogance as an armor, perhaps, because. At the end of the day, it's an inaccurate tool, and it is simply through its design. I mean, arrogance. I guess if we're using the definition of the word, I think necessarily implies almost a status of being incorrect to some degree of like you know being confident without that confidence being properly warranted or properly calibrated. I'll tell you what AI does when it's improperly confident.

It makes a bunch of fucked up mistakes, right? And it's like in humans, those things are much more complex, but they play out similarly. It's like, yeah, if you're making mistakes, um, I will try to make that rhyme. But basically, it could become a big fucking problem. Um, yeah.

So overall, that's the first one that comes to mind for sure is just like that general sense of like, I don't know if it ever struck me as arrogance. That's how you describe it, so I take your word for it in large part. Of course, I was younger when it struck me. I'm trying to remember. Of course, like I said, it kind of struck me as almost like stupidity.

But of course, it's like it's a specific act. What do you say, actuated form of stupidity in the world, crystalline in reality. It's not like a G factor, abstract like IQ necessarily. It's more so like how that thing plays through your circuitry of emotions and all that, and ends up affecting onto the world. In that moment was stupid the one that I'm remembering.

And you know, I mean everyone does stupid things sometimes really. But um. But I do I do need to think. What was the old me right about in that assessment? What was he over calibrated or over biased in certain ways on compared to me now?

And what's the delta there, and how would that change the story? It's like, well, I don't necessarily think Jake is stupid. Off the rip, at the time I actually thought you might be. In fact, there was a time where I thought you were. So maybe I should start there.

I mean, when I first came to know you, I thought you were stupid. Just the way you get mad over things that made no sense to me, and like, I mean, I can understand to some degree, you know, self-respect and like fighting. You know that guy in high school? I didn't really take issue with particularly, but I don't know, just getting angry over things that again I found very hard to relate to. Now, mind you, I was also coming from sort of the opposite problem of being too much of a pussy and not really being able to gracefully activate.

You know, maybe maybe starts out as humor, charm, you know, charisma, wit, and then it kind of turns into. Assertiveness eventually, you know, depending on how how high the stakes are and what kind of an environment I'm in and who I'm talking to. And I would say I mostly developed those social skills through using my microphone on Rainbow Six Siege. To be honest, a bunch of stressed out teenagers trying to fucking bitch at me, and I got to try to coordinate them no less. Most people don't even bother, right?

But me, I prided myself on learning the skills that translated to the real world, so I didn't worry about the communication because I just was natural at it. That's really the real reason for that one too. But um, but it took a lot of practice. You know what? First, I was extremely ungraceful.

I would come out and people pissed me off. I started yelling at them and and voice cracking and just almost sounding pubescent and like just very not charming and then not charismatic. And towards the end, you know, towards the end of my playing time, I knew how good I was. I knew what everyone was. I knew how good everyone was.

I knew every what everyone was feeling at all times. And so I and I had been in those situations many, many, many times before. So I was very well versed in them. I had a lot of practice in the different variations that they can. take and the different sort of principles I can apply of how to respond to them, you know. And and frankly, I didn't give a shit as much either emotionally.

I was just like, okay, some dumb pipsqueaks bitching at me. I'll tell him to suck my dick and move on. It's kind of funny because at the end of the day, it's like, as I say that, it's also like an ego boost because now I feel like I'm bigger than him. And like maybe I am. Maybe I'm I'm genuinely in this field, in this game, in this thing.

I am genuinely bigger than him. I'm better. I'm smarter. I know what I'm doing more. I understand him thoroughly.

He doesn't understand what the fuck's going on. I understand what is, you know. There can be this gap and that gap. I guess can satiate my ego, allow me to remain calm and still be graceful, charming and humorous, and that will raise my status because people can perceive that, you know. So, so, what's my point?

There was a connection. I now will have to try to remember exactly how it went. Let's see. Fucked up things I never articulated fully the first time. It's more like a subconscious feeling, but I'm pretty sure maybe I articulated a few words of it.

I think it was there. It was like a. I was trying to compare you to me, compare my perception of you, me to no, yeah, well, you get the idea, and figure out the deltas there. Um. So through that growth process that I went through, I guess I was trying to think.

See, if I paste the text, I'll be able to reread my words and remember more easily too. Gosh, this was related to um. I'm using speech to text if you couldn't tell. Probably some of the words are wrong, but let's see. I'm trying to.

I was trying to say I learned social skills in Siege because that's relevant because because that was like my training to grow up and become. More wise to some degree. I just have to paste the damn text and fucking read it. That's right. I was talking about how we kind of had opposite problems.

I was a pussy and you were kind of a dick, right? Maybe the opposite, you could say. And I would say, both those things can lead to evil. Really, at the end of the day, I think the root of a lot of the evil of the world can be maybe boiled down to mistakes, inaccuracies. A lot of the times they're rested on and caused by, you know, dishonesty because.

To fully articulate out the world exactly as it is with precision and accuracy is difficult, laborious, energy-consuming. Literally, it consumes your calories to do so. You know, and your time, and you know, intangible things beyond that are hard to articulate and. So. Sometimes I think people get the impression that if they're being ironic, that they know it's not real, and they might be right.

But then they make a big mistake and say, and that therefore they really do know what is real, which is a humongous mistake because they do not at all, right? I mean, they might have a clue, but but realistically, the world is an extremely vast ocean of complexity, only more complex the closer you look, and there is no escape from that fact. To truly tell any story will always require more words and more time than people are willing to give it. We always have to use heuristics, abstractions, and shorthands, and so our biases will play a major factor in how we act, and they will cause our mistakes. They will, it's a certainty.

I mean, the Bible teaches us this practically, and um, so well, you have to be careful with them, and that's why honesty is so important too, so that you can actually hear your thoughts. Clearly not have some muddled up bullshit going on where you're like, haha, just joking. Or wait, what was it? What was the jokey joking? Like, you know, just bullshit in subconscious levels.

Like before the word forming, like I'm good. I'm just so good on not dealing with that. Like, no, I don't want to deal with that because I don't want to be a fucking retard, bitch. Not that I'm calling you bitch or anything, that's more so the royal bitch, the royal we, you know. Okay.

So let's see here. Uh, so what are the dangers? Mistakes cause evil. Mistakes cause inaccurate thought. Inaccurate thoughts cause inaccurate actions, and mistakes kill people sometimes, right?

So it's kind of, that's kind of the spectrum. There's there's a more, always a more elegant way to say it, but I think that's good enough. So then I guess from there, uh, I'll move back to where you were, which was you were talking about. No, I'm sorry. You're still where I was.

Well, kind of where we both were trying to get at, I guess. You, you, so let's see. If I was a pussy, it took that training for me to become wiser and maybe less sinful. And you were a dick, and it took some different sorts of environments and conditions. You know, I mean, everybody grows and becomes more wise.

Well, at least for the most part, I think most people tend to. Um, maybe I shouldn't give them too much credit, but uh, what is the point I'm trying to make here? Then I guess I'm trying to like calculate what that would have meant that you really were. Cause at the time, like I said, my perception was like, okay, Jake is dumb, and it's like, okay, Jake actually, it's like Jake is being dumb on account of, I will say, his emotions, which is a pretty common pitfall to fall into. I mean, happens to everybody sometimes, I would say.

Um, I guess he's saying the emotion is shame. That makes sense, cause it never really made sense as anger. It's like always would kind of make it seem even especially more stupid. I'm like he's actually not even angry, but he's gonna sit here and just cause problems randomly. Like my impressions weren't very high of those moments, admittedly.

You know. Okay, so anyways, I mean that kind of makes sense. So that's cool. So I would say your shame could be source of your evil. Maybe that's the shortest way I could say.

Now I've thought about it long enough. It's probably some other things in there too. So I guess now a piece of advice to go off of it. Let's think here. Things are always specific.

The rules always have vastness and complexity, and the solution to your sinning problem, we'll call it, as we all have, is not going to be a one-liner, right? What did the Jews come up with? They came up with the Torah, right? And the point I'm trying to make is the answer is long and complicated. It's not a one-liner.

It's it's not going to be to you know be an alpha. Sorry. Maybe if that maybe if that being an alpha is like comprised of all these other ideas. Okay. Okay.

Maybe we can start to get there. Sure. Sure. Um. Ah.

You know. And it'll depend on your definition of alpha and all this kind of stuff, as all things always depend on definitions. By the way, quick side note. There's this idea I've heard online and I like it very much that ninety percent of, or maybe I shouldn't say ninety percent, the majority of arguments are caused by people having different ideas of what the definitions of words are. So, something to keep in mind.

But, oh, let's see here. With you, I start taking notes. Think about times that you've been shamed. Think think about moments that occur that are new when you feel shame. They will be hard to think about.

You will not want to think the honest things about them. I know that my ego tries to defend me, and it's hasty, quite frankly. It's expeditious. It is hard to beat it to the punch. Maybe it's impossible.

It comes in and tries to change the story. I mean, I know this was happening to me as recently as like my mid twenties. Maybe now I'm better at catching it, but it will try you. It just might kill you if you let it. So, so I'll be careful with it.

You know, if you ever see your ego jumping in the way of the truth to protect your shame. You don't have to stop it right away, but just take notes in the moment. Say, how am I actually acting right now? Think about it later. You know, that would be my piece of advice for that one.

And my other piece of advice, advice would be read the Bible. Sorry, that's just how it goes. But um, all right. Let me paste this text again so my voice to text software has a save point here. Wispr Flow, by the way, is the company I use for this speech voice to text.

Not saying you should use it, but if you want to take long form notes that are complicated and you don't want to forget what you were thinking about, getting thoughts out quickly can help. And for me, well, my thoughts turn into computer code, so I need to get them out a lot as quick as I can. Anyways, um. That's probably most of what I have to say to this one. I think that's a decent response.

I mean, I could say more if I thought about it more. How about I just say a prayer about it, and then I'll see if there's any more I want to say about it after that. Okay. Dear God, thank you for all of our blessings, and please continue to bless us. Please forgive us for our sins.

Please help us. To do your will, want to do your will, and to understand your will, if it is your will, please forgive me if it isn't. Please guide us, at least me, to be a good servant for you. Please help me to guide Isabelle as well, and likewise, I guess I will request that you please guide Jake and. You know, as I believe that you have done in some ways, I'm sure you've—I shouldn't be too sure, but I—I believe perhaps you've seen he's sought out your wisdom through various channels, and I suspect there may have been some communication there.

I just hope, and I'll pray to God and request that you continue to communicate with him and guide him and show him the potential error of his ways. As he has requested to be shown, um, really, and, um, he's, I think, you know, a pretty wise, youngish man, and, uh, I just hope that, um. Is that first fruitful, really? And, in Jesus' name, amen. Okay.

So I think that's pretty much what I got for you. Oh, also, PS at the end and say, if you're wondering why I had that locatedness in the beginning about what his will is and if we know it or whatever, that was. I used to have an OCD um prayer system that I would go through every night the same way every night, um, until I started thinking about porn instead. So there you go.

What's fucked up is how similar this one sounds to my response to your last one. I don't even know what to say. I feel like I already said this. I could just say it again. I guess at that point I'm saying it three times fast.

Um. It is kind of weird though, almost suspicious. Did we really say the same thing twice? Is are these things related or let me think here. Like am I missing something?

Important. I mean, some of the smaller things, sure. I could probably haggle over the minutia of point three of the governing axioms. I don't think I care to. I'm too tired.

Um. And frankly, I don't think it'd be very fruitful. Maybe be counterproductive. I mean, yeah, I didn't really say the same thing. I said some of the same things.

Some of this is like. Additional, I guess, to what I was saying previously. Like, I didn't really mention the power tends to corrupt stuff. I didn't really mention darkness cannot be erased. So I guess there's a few differences.

I guess I could talk about the differences. Let's see. Oh, how do I say? Well, if I want to get technical about this and treat this like an AI prompt, I guess I would go through it like this and say,

number one, of the governing axioms, I don't really fully understand, therefore I can't give precise feedback to you. I guess, I guess state is referring to state of being for a human being, um, or something, or maybe not. I don't know. It's gonna be a definition issue, or I'm not sure the definitions are here, um. Let's see what else here.

Dude, Chaos Angel, the artwork for that card in Yu-Gi-Oh is what comes to mind. We talk about light or dark. Such an awesome card. And when you summon it through using a light and a dark creature, it becomes super powerful. Versus if you just use one or the other, would be the normal way of doing it.

In which case, it only becomes like, you know, it only gets half of its effects activated. Yeah. Probably the most vibe-alicious way for me to imagine the sentiment described by the light dark duality is just imagining that card and its effects. So, actually all I got to say about that one, I guess.

So I guess tells me about number two. Suffering refines no one by itself. Only the response to it has transformative power. Sure. I could try to get technical here and say, well, the response to it is merely, you know, the chain reaction of the neurons that the suffering itself caused within the creature, and those neurons activating only matter insofar as they cause action in the environment of the creature, of you know the human being in this case.

And so therefore, in a way, you could kind of think there's a spectrum of suffering, having some level of responsibility over the refinement, depending on your definition of refinement. Feels like I'm in the weeds as I say that, so. There's something there, but without a real sense of direction on, it's just very abstract. It's like, well, it's like, yes, David, it is interesting to imagine the gradient sort of, I don't know, evolution from subconscious. I almost want to say.

Prefixure. I'm not sure if that's the right word. You know, probably not. To action or conscious thought or both, and and then to, I guess, retraining really of the person behavior retraining entirely. Um, and that is like, yeah.

Where along that spectrum is the reaction exactly? What exactly is it when we say the reaction or the response you call it? Where does the suffering end and the response begin? Where along that spectrum does it start? And what does it all really mean, man?

Well, let's think about it. I suppose when I try to think about it, what I see is suffering being the inciting incident that causes the first initial thoughts and actions of the person. In response, those thoughts and actions cause new information to be garnered as the. Person observes the output. If it's traumatic, perhaps special systems come online.

If some other special conditions are met, perhaps some other special genes that have not been activated, as we have seen in studies, there are genes that will lay dormant for decades and only activate under certain circumstances. So perhaps, you know, under the circumstances, special systems within yourself activate, and you, you know, begin to behave in ways and transform in ways that are especially. Permanent, maybe I'll say. They're very defining moments. They really capture the microcosm of the person, and they play it across the rest of their lifespan.

When they're traumatizing, when they're not, perhaps it's a smaller form of the same thing. Much smaller sometimes. So that iterative loop, that's really the sequence. That's really the workflow. Input in the form of suffering combined with the other inputs of the other general context, the related context that light up in the person based on their personality traits and other things such as their cognitive capabilities, their wisdom, the environment, and all this sort of thing.

The story they end up forming. The Story really, I think, ends up being the data that they preserve, and the instruction set for the future, really. And the story plays itself out over sometimes a few days, a few weeks, a few hours, it depends. But in some ways, the story always continues, but but some parts of it. Are so loud as to really be worthy of having their own definition.

And in fact, I do suspect—I'm not even going to look it up—but I do suspect that there are genes that come online that are not normally activated when you experience things like trauma that, you know, cause these transformations to be as permanent and long-lasting as it can be. The reasons why are not hard to speculate about. Um, I guess it just makes you think, you know, a person's ability to handle that, like your first note said. I mean, you know, if you're suffering, you probably feel like you're failing in some ways. To rise to that suffering and meet it again and again forthrightly, hand, you know, hand extended.

Gracefully waiting for the wisdom to be delivered. That's the person that's really going to kick ass, right? So perhaps that's really the sequence you want to aim for. When you say you want to watch your suffering and how it changes your responses. Oh, you were talking about transformative power.

Oh, that was two points ago. Or something. Oh no, it was the second point. So yeah, point them on already. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like. It transforms you. It transforms you, and it doesn't do it all at once. It does it, but it will do it in bursts. But the bursts aren't instantaneous, but they are quick.

You know, it might be a burst might be maybe an incident that lasts for thirty minutes to maybe a few hours, and then maybe it'll be another one that lasts another a few hours in a week, and maybe those two pretty much end up concatenating in your mind a bit, you know. Over time, the story tells itself again and again. You remember, maybe you learn. The most important thing is probably to try, to be earnest, and yeah, do have humility and just grace and accept, you know, what life offers you and say, okay, this. Is my lot, and I'll till it, and try to turn into a rocket ship if I can, because I think so God wants me to do.

And if it doesn't turn into a rocket ship and I blow up and die, then that's what'll happen. And if an AI shows up that says I'm going to hook you up to a torture nexus and simulate thousands of years of suffering if you don't obey me, then the only proper response is to point at it and say the only hell I fear is the hell of God. Charge at it headfirst with a shotgun. Knowing damn well you got a 99.99999% chance of failure, you know, it's like, but still having hope and faith that that 0.1% chance could come through. Perhaps it's difficult at some points, you know.

Easy to believe things, easy to say you believe things, hard sometimes to act like you believe them. That's where Peterson says he believes true belief really lies. So, you want to talk about suffering and transformation? I think that's pretty much what I have to say about it. Oh, my tet.

Oh. Oh, sorry. My head. Oh, I'm losing my head. All day, every day, I think as long and as hard as I can about complex problems.

Many points on them. I abstract them, turn them into automated processes, and I do it again and I refine them. And my God. Oh, when I'm sleep deprived and hungry, sometimes my brain. Oh, almost feels like it's having a misfire.

Jesus Christ. That's never stopped me before. I mean, how good that is like not much of an incentive. It's like I should go work out and become tired that way. Not yet though, I'm busy.

Let's see here,

number three. Darkness cannot be erased, only understood, bounded, and put to work. I don't necessarily agree with this one. I mean, it cannot be erased. First of all, I gotta step back and say I gotta be careful.

I don't get too in the weeds too much about definitions here, but let's see what we got to work with. Darkness cannot be erased. Um, sure, I can just accept that. I don't need to think about too hard. Only understood, bounded, and put to work.

I think I take issue with the phrasing "put to work" because when you say "put to work," it is as though you are implying that you are asking sin to work for yourself. For I sort of imagine darkness to be analogous to sin, but in the Bible it says sin can only beget sin. So if you're doing something sinful. With the aims of doing something good with it. In the end, the Bible kind of says it doesn't really work.

Now I think that's contextualized. I'm sure there are probably loopholes to that one. I mean, it's kind of hard to imagine there wouldn't be, frankly, in the world as complex as this. But put to use would I think maybe be a better word for it. I don't even know.

It's like even then I'm still kind of. Signing on. I need to be careful, I guess, to distinguish what exactly darkness means. I guess I'll say darkness means sin and also the sort of like meme complex web surroundings sinful things, things that lead to sin and things that are sinful. And so it's like perhaps those surrounding things they are to be interfaced with more so, and the way that Jews interface with Goyim, right?

But it's like there's levels to it and there's a hierarchy to it as usual. And there's and yeah, so. You know, things of greater degrees of sin, well, things that are truly sinful, perhaps is the best way to put it, should probably be avoided in moments where they are truly sinful. Things where you're unsure, I think sometimes there's times where it's time to be able to take risk, but generally speaking, perhaps it is the willingness, the risk of sin more so that is the tool than the sin itself. For man knows not exactly what the sins are, right?

Usually, I mean maybe some of them. I yeah, I guess I would, I guess I would just be careful the phrasing on that one. If it was for me, I would say, yeah, darkness. Be careful that I'm in my, be careful in my definition of darkness with what exactly I mean when I say it, and also that, like if this was for me, like if I was to make this axiom for myself, I would probably have it say something like. Your shadow must be integrated to prevent it from lashing out unpredictably.

I would basically just quote Jordan Peterson, right? And I think he was quoting Nietzsche or something, or Jung, I don't know. And I'd probably just, yeah, I would probably just say it like that because I already understand it like that. It's already my frame. I would just, I guess, go a layer deeper; I could try to imagine why.

Well, it's because the shadow can't be gotten rid of. The genes that I was evolved to serve have systems in them designed to work with immoral tools, such as their proclivity for rape, probably be the prime example, or murder. Some big couple of examples that people go to. Ah, my head. Ow.

Ow. Ah. Okay, okay. Let's take a break. Oh, good.

Okay, break time is over. Oh my god, I'm so tired. And I'm so in the weeds on a point that is such little fruit, but it's important because Jake gave it to me to think about his thoughts. So to him, to take them seriously. I'm gonna do this.

And the reason that the shadow can't be gotten rid of is because there is something true and real about the ideas of the shadow. They evolved because they work in an archetypal fashion. They work across time, across environments. They are real in any sense of the word. If the word real means anything to any human, I mean, then it means it here.

They are real. They really exist, and you know, they have real power. It's hard to imagine. So I mean, it's hard—it's hard to imagine, uh, what I'm trying to say. It's not hard to imagine.

Why? Um, because after all, I mean, what's the game of life out there? Survival. It is not hard to imagine why rape could help with that, right? It is obvious.

It is, uh, yeah. So. Um. Let's see here. Um, what am I trying to say?

Is there anything left to say? Talking about number three. I suppose if the darkness can be defined as things that we consider immoral, not necessarily things that are sinful, those things really should be a Venn diagram that is a circle, though. They should be the same, but it just depends what you mean. I think I'm too in the weeds.

To find any meaning in what I'm trying to say here, I think I'm like an Ouroboros right now. I just don't think there's much to it. I'm gonna have to move on here. I think. I'll skip it off by saying, be careful the definitions on number three.

Number four, let's take a look here. I agree with number four. See that one was easy. And I don't feel need to try and articulate on it further.

Number five. Um. I would say they point towards something. Yeah, they point towards some kind of truth. I would be careful when I'm saying number five.

Which truth am I thinking that they're pointing towards? Because a person can certainly have emotions that are mostly lined, let's say, aligned against the truth. You know, so it's. I I don't know. I would say if we're trying to say okay emotions can cause you to investigate things that help you to uncover the things that are important for you to uncover and so those things are true for you.

I would say okay your definition of truth in that case could be valid in this sentence in this axiom. Just be careful with definitions.

Okay number six. Power tends to corrupt when humility compassion and reality checks are abandoned. Yeah and I would say when your connection with God is severed to some degree. It's easy. I mean, it's not even only those things.

I mean, the fucked up thing, like power, like think about King. I hope his name wasn't King David in the Bible. The one who his biggest problem was just like sexual stuff. Like, pretty good king overall, but he just had a bunch of wives and it's causing a bunch of problems. It's like, perhaps that's a lack of humility.

I think compassion was probably still present, although perhaps reality checks. Reality checks is kind of like tautological. It's like it's like people in power tend to do things that are mistakes and therefore are considered corrupt when they are not considering what reality would be if they did it. It's like that is tautological. That is circular reasoning in a way, I think.

But it doesn't really matter. It's fine to leave it in there. Perhaps it helps to keep the circle intact. I don't know.

Let's take a look at number seven. Every map, including this one, is partial and infinite, and not absolute. Yep, it's called a heuristic. Periodic table is a pretty good one. This one's probably decent.

Bible's pretty good. I don't know. And that's the end of this one. I think that's my response to this one. This one ended up being a super duper long response.

Fucking hell.

Oh wait, no, you're still going in here. Oh, this is just all the emotions. Oh, this whole thing is one note. All these emotions. Oh, I thought I read the whole thing already.

And then you talk about every single emotion. Oh. Sorry, I asked AI to put this onto a um. an HTML page to make it more legible, and then I had speech to text or text to speech help me to read it because I am a slow reader, and frankly, takes my energy. Energy I don't have right now. Um.

So I only read this up to the axioms and then responded to it. I didn't even read the emotions part, so I kind of jumped the gun. So I guess I'll do that now. Imagine you trying to read this. Now you're fucked.

I'm using speech text. You are. You are screwed. You're screwed, Busta. Maybe I'll um.

I don't think I can refine it right now, man. Uh, yeah. I'll send it to you like this. Maybe I'll refine it later. How about that?

Jesus, and now I just ripped a THC-P pen that was clogged and burnt the fuck out of my throat and had a humongous coughing fit, low key like asthmatic a little bit. Burnt the fuck out of myself. See if I can speak now as I try to respond to you. So I'm just going to treat this like an AI output almost. I'm going to go through it and respond to it in line.

I read the whole, I listened to the whole thing at once. Now I'll go through it in line.

Yeah, rage. I think I agree. There's an interesting study. There's an interesting study about like left. I think it was like left wing and right wing people, and they had different moral values.

I forget this guy's fucking name. PSH and Adam Fridden. Adam Fridden always talks about him. Let me go pull him up. I should probably cite him real quick.

I don't know. Um, uh, Mm Okay, it's Jonathan Haidt, spelled H A I D T, a social psychologist at NYU, and his moral foundations theory. PSA switch, P S A space S I T C H and Adam Frieded, have a show on YouTube. They talk, Adam talks about this a lot. Anyways.

Little citation there. Um, I think the purpose of that was just me trying to say that, yeah, like people tend to get rageful when their moral boundaries are crossed, and different people have different moral boundaries, and the differences can be correlated with politics at times.

Um, okay, see, obsession. Yeah, I like that one. That makes me sound like a fucking badass. True, bro. Obsessive people are like.

Epic masters and that's on God.

Okay, let's see. Apathy and numbness. Let's see. Yeah, I feel like apathy is like. On the spectrum of disagreeableness, maybe that's obvious.

Where it's like you lose, uh, the objective of trying to work with the person and just move on to being like a fuck you to the person. Apathy. I'll admit apathy is not something that I very much, what do you call, sympathy for, because I don't relate to it very often. Apathy is rare for me. I usually find things interesting if they're novel in general, so it's just like, I guess like, yeah, I don't know, like even when I broke up with whatever.

My previous girlfriend's, um, or I tried to break up with my current one a few times. I um, I still loved them. I even told them as much, you know. I'm like, it's not really like I don't love you still and all that, but I just don't think this is correct, the correct decision for me to make. So, all that, um, yeah, I don't know.

I don't know, bro. What am I supposed to know something? I don't know anything about apathy, numbness, apathy. I mean, I guess when I see like stories online or on the news, I'll have apathy for them, almost like, so I guess I can relate to it in that sense, because in that case, I think it serves me, because I'm like, I don't have the bandwidth. For every problem in the world, you know, and it's good for me to digest them to the degree that they can increase my wisdom, and that's about it.

Um. So. But I fundamentally believe I love all human beings. So I don't think I would ever say that I don't have empathy or like love for anyone. So I don't think I would necessarily. necessarily mean I don't have.

I guess I could have apathy without needing to lose that, but and I could talk about apathy about a situation or about a thing. Yeah, it's just rare. I would almost say this might be the opposite of obsessive. It's like because normally when when I would see people gaining points of apathy, it would like almost infuriate me. I'll be like, oh great, and now they're going to be too lazy to even fucking put in the mental energy to rub a few brain cells together.

It would. Oh man, especially when I was younger and a bit. I guess arrogant. That yeah, you know, it could be a problem of people saying, look, man, this isn't a good endeavor to be involved with, and I would say, no, dude, the you know, thought of mental. Effort is almost always worth it, you know, and especially on something important like this, which I think tends to be true.

Of course, it's a huge pain in the ass. I mean, it literally costs energy. But uh, you know, God didn't call you to lay down your tent and be a pussy, so you got to do it. Um, and I don't know. That's about it, really.

So I don't really relate to apathy very much. I just don't think it's natural for me to, like, obviously, like. On account of just natural personality traits, probably. Like it's not even like I necessarily mean to take too much like credit for the idea that I don't use it or that I mean I don't even necessarily think it's bad. But it's like it's like it's like a person at their limits.

It's like they feel like they've exhausted their options, you know, maybe, and they just feel like thinking won't help at this point. So therefore, I'd really. Just, I'm better off just not even bothering thinking about it, and just saying fuck that situation and blow the fuck up. But even then, there can be different thresholds to that. More disagreeable or less agreeable.

Sorry, my throat's burning still. More agreeable or less agreeable people. More disagreeable people would probably be more inclined to want to kill people in the first place, so the threshold would probably be lower. To reach the point of apathy. I suppose that's a causal relation between those things.

Okay, despair. Yep. Cool. Cool.

Let's see, chaos. Yeah. Yeah, chaos. Yeah, chaos is what happens when yeah, it feels like the ground falls out from under you and you feel like the world is in turmoil and you don't understand really what's happening, but you have an inclination. Maybe you think you have the spark of divinity within you and you think you're on God's enlightened path and you think you're obeying him and you're trying to serve him.

And so the best thing you can do in that situation is stand up. What is the word you say with your back straight and your chest out or whatever? I don't do all that. I'm like, I'll stand up, you know. I'm like, my, I don't think my spine does that naturally.

Like, I'm not going to force this goofy position. I don't know. Anyways. Anyways, right? Stand up, back straight, all this.

I get it. Okay, the spine thing, it releases serotonin. I get it, I get it. Okay. But nonetheless.

And you're supposed to walk forward with confidence and faith. And that's I I feel like the situations where I feel like I'm blind, but I yet I feel close to understanding. When I feel like I'm on the cusp of understanding, but I feel like I'm blind to the true vicissitudes of the given specific you know situation. If I think I understand it at the abstract level, and I understand all the strategies and all the tactics and all the mechanics, I I ought to be executing at what times? I think I know, or I think I have a pretty good idea, but I'm just not sure.

Those times are usually the times where I master it. Where I go and I just try and I actually just fucking do it perfectly. Like I'm not gonna say perfectly, but the best that I will pretty much ever do it, you know. And that's when then those are the times that are the most instructive. Then I say, okay, that's how I should do that.

And then what happens? What happens before the fall? The pride. So then I get an ego. I say, hey, I'm good.

Then I see myself do that a few times, and I say, hey, this is consistent. My beliefs are forming as thoughts. Then I'm acting them in the video game, and my opponents who disagree with my thoughts are actually dying and exploding. So therefore. Like my thoughts win and they're dead, you know, and it's real, and therefore it's real.

My thoughts are really correct. That means I'm right. That means, you know, that means I'm good. That means I kick ass, you know, and like it kind of goes. But then it becomes risky because then I think to myself, hey, I kick ass.

Hey, I'm good. Hey, I know what I'm doing. Hey, these guys are more stupid than me. I'm just smarter than this sort of thing. But guess what?

That only worked because I was fucking focused and locked in and really seriously like serrated edge, like you know. Like adrenaline, sweat, just, just raw input, maximum bandwidth, maximum, you know, like everything, exhilaration, and just pure focus. That, like that, that is why I performed the level that I did, and I kind of know that, but it'll take you surprise, surprise, just how badly you can perform, especially against an opponent that does know a thing or two, because guess what, they might just be focused up, too, you know. I mean, the truth of the matter is, and now I suppose my analogy becomes less abstract as I. Speak the actual reality of the situation I'm thinking of, which is like siege or other games like League.

You can die very quickly, and it's like, I guess that's true in real life too, but not usually quite as relevant to that degree. But I suppose it's perhaps, you know, there's probably a similar truth lower in some hierarchy that I could extrapolate to. I don't have the energy to at the moment. So yeah, and that's. That's when you reform, and that's when that's when chaos becomes order, and that's when you know order becomes structure, and that's when you settle in, slowly wind down, slowly lose your strength and power and speed and intellect over time, become weaker, more foolish, maybe not more foolish, weaker, more stupid, more just yeah, feeble.

I don't know, slower, more riddled with points that bring you pain and suffering just physically. Feel your body collapsing and then die. So it's like hopefully your system was set up good in the first place. Anyways, hopefully you got some kids or something. Okay, that's pretty much how it goes.

Yep.

See, fear. Fear is the signal that something near may involve threat, death, or both. When discerned carefully, it becomes a compass indicating either where to withdraw for safety, or where to advance with courage like a man. Oh yeah, like when I'm playing DayZ and I'm afraid of dying and I have my adrenaline rushing, but I'm talking match it on the mic 'cause I'm I got that dog in me, and my opponents just can't believe what they're hearing. Back in those days especially, drunk.

Oh yeah. Adrenaline's going, my arrogance is up. I and frankly am truly better than a lot of these players, so you know, you know they're getting it. You know I'm giving it to them right there. I'm giving it to them.

It's like fear can inspire courage, which can inspire arrogance, I guess. Because the truth is it's like I was excited to fight them, but I was a bit anxious. Maybe not fearful. I was a bit anxious. I was like, okay, I don't really want them to kill me, but realistically.

Tactically, I know that I'm playing the situation correctly. Tactically, my position is nearly—I'm not going to say impenetrable, but this guy is not going to have what it takes to break it, and he's going to walk in here die like an idiot, you know? Because he's telling me he will. He's telling me like, I remember like once this comes to mind, this guy's telling me he's going to come inside and kill me. I'm thinking, oh great, I can literally just hold the most overpowered defensive angle with an extremely busted weapon for my exact range that I'll take the engagement at.

Choose the engagement from dead silence, having perfect audio cues on him the whole way, and it's going to be free win. And I just. Yell on the mic so he thinks I'm crazy. He walks in here, it's a free kill, of course it does happen. As just as I said it would, and I shouldn't say of course.

Now this guy, you know, if he was good, he would've shot a grenade launcher in there and blow me the fuck up instantly, and that would be the end of me. But well, know your audience, I guess they say, right? So, anyways, what is it? A story? Maybe it is.

Stories are data structures, I think. Oh, I think I might be getting a little bit broken down in the chaos myself here. Let's see. My brain is just tattered at the moment, to be honest. But I think it performs uniquely sometimes in these positions, so seems like a good time to do this.

So tired. Yep, that's cute.

Okay, shame. Shame and guilt. So. This is where I'm gonna get all definitional here and say I think the definition of shame here might be mixed up with the definition of guilt. I don't even care to elaborate on that that much because it's so in the weeds.

From what I have heard, and I don't even think I'm a great source on this. I heard this from Rudyard Lynch. He certainly has his biases. He's a YouTuber. History 102.

His main channel is Whatifalthist, but I like History 102 more. It's just straight up history. And he doesn't do alt history at all anymore. Anyways. Oh god, I'm so tired.

Oh my god, where was I, man? Shame. Condemned. Okay. Actually, you know what?

Maybe you're right. Okay, no, no. Okay, see, this is where it's mixed up. Here's my understanding. I'll just say it.

Here's my understanding, and I could be completely fucked up and wrong myself. I understand shame to be more of this guy Rudyard says shame drives Asian culture more and guilt drives Western culture more. I don't know if he's just saying that because it sounds cute or if it's real, but he says shame is more about how others perceive you and guilt is more about like how God perceives you. Basically, it's kind of how he put it. He's like, do you really feel like you fucked up or do you?

Feel like people are gonna say you fucked up. I think was the main difference. Now, anyways, it's pretty similar in any event, and they're certainly usually correlated. I, I mean, I shouldn't say certainly, but I'm pretty sure. Oh, let's see.

Met with clear, grounded compassion. It becomes a doorway to reclaiming exiled something. Parts of self realigning conduct with the shoulders. Right. Okay.

What's crazy is I couldn't. hear or think, but the words I spoke them aloud and then I process them. My brain is actually like, like it's already it's shutting down. Like I am literally, I think parts of it are literally falling asleep. It's just like I'm done. Is that apathy?

Are my are my neurons performing apathy right now? Fuck.

Envy. Envy is the discomfort of seeing. Okay, I mean that's cool, sure. I don't have much sympathy for empathy. I, whoa, I don't have much sympathy for envy is what I meant to say.

Um. Hopefully that's not a Freudian slip. Um. Let's see. Okay, envy.

Do I envy people? I mean, I almost never envy people. I think I try not to, for sure. I think I generally succeed at trying not to. I probably do some, of course.

I don't know. I don't do much, so I don't have much to say about it.

Loneliness. Loneliness. This thing I might have some thoughts on to see. Loneliness is maintaining connection with oneself, others, and anything larger. Yeah, it's like it's like loneliness.

Is the feeling of being born after the Industrial Revolution ripped communities apart and turned us into isolated little cells of, you know, people? Yeah. Unlucky, unlucky. That's the way it goes. Unlucky, and it is not natural, and it is not healthy.

Okay, let's see. Control. Control is the attempt to create safety and certainty by managing people, outcomes, and variables beyond your true reach. Okay. I think that's a weird definition, but okay, I can just.

Accept this definition and just work with what it is for the purpose of this discussion. Refined, it becomes sober. Okay. Yeah, sure. That's cool.

That's easy.

Oh, arrogance is a stance of superiority that conceals insecurities, old humiliations, or untested self-beliefs. Yeah, the last one I would say is. The primary source for a lot of people. I would say Thomas and myself when I was younger as well too, a lesser degree than Thomas. Thomas is like a superhero of arrogance, man.

I feel bad kind of saying it. It feels like I'm talking shit on him. I truly have no intention to, and I've said and I have said this. Well, I haven't said he's a superhero ever against his face, but I have told him to his face that I believe his biggest flaw is his arrogance. And when he asked, and he said nothing in response, I don't think he liked my answer.

Understandable. Yeah, it's dangerous. Pride comes before the fall, man. Pride comes before the fall. And the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

Okay. Let's see what else is in here. Holy fuck, is he going? Uh, um. All right, I still I guess I'm on arrogance.

Let's see arrogance. I mean, hey. People, it's like people will necessarily be arrogant. There is like it's I think it is maybe impossible to never be arrogant to some degree if the definition of arrogance is. Having a miscalibrated confidence level because everybody's confidence level is always miscalibrated because it's impossible to have a perfect calibration on anything.

Because the world is an incredible vast ocean of complexity. So I guess we should be careful that definition. Maybe it's not a very good one if it breaks down to the point of meaninglessness.

I'll move on now to addiction. Is the repeated search For relief, connection, or escape through means that erode life, dignity, and freedom. That's an interesting definition. When the underlying need is traced and faced, and laced, may I say, it becomes a pointer. And yes, I only said that because it rhymed.

I think towards what. Truly requires healing, and towards healthier sources of comfort and meaning. That's interesting. I don't know. I don't think I have much sympathy for addiction.

It's hard for me to relate to it, despite the fact that I've been using weed, you know, pens for the past four years daily, literally daily. I mean, the second I needed to stop, I stopped for sure. The second I could use it, literally the day, I mean, almost within the hour of being legally able to, I got it instantly. Ah, um. Maybe I have some kind of an addiction.

I don't know. I think, you know, Rudyard Lynch says he thinks it's hard to get through the modern world without some kind of a drug. Some people do nicotine, some people do, you know, kratom. Whatever. I, I do kind of feel like there's some truth to that, but it's dangerous because they do.

It's like the harm they do is small, but it's not infinitesimally small, you know, it. It is a finite real number, and it does add up. So be careful. Be careful. I've heard nicotine can be a neurostimulant.

I might look into. I don't know. Nicotine I hate because it also causes like anxiety in me. Like, and I'm not really an anxious guy normally, but it just makes me physically like just tumultuous in my stomach. You know, it's like hard to feel settled when that's happening.

But I do fuck with Zyns regardless. But I don't know. They're nice, but man, they can be too much too, for sure. I mean, yeah.

Let's see. Oh, my head. Oh, my head. Oh god. Fatigue.

Asking everything. Yeah, I mean that's certainly one to send to mask and pretend. I think there might be others, but yes. Yeah, I would say it's pretty true. Oh, I'm so tired.

Holy shit. Okay, sorry. Let's see what's the next one.

Ugh, bitterness. Um, resentment is one of the major predictors of divorce, as well as, um, well. I think income and those are the main ones I remember. Let's see. My throat is acting up now.

Oh my god, I'm so tired. I can't read this. I'm sorry. I mean, I listen to a voice to text read it or speech. Text to speech read it.

Oh, all in one go. But now I'm kind of rereading it as I'm responding to it in line. Oh, I already said that earlier. Forgot. Bitterness is dangerous.

That's what I'll say. Be careful with that. And if you see it, you fucking better pay attention to that now. So Peterson said. He didn't say quite like that.

He said almost nearly like that. Yep, yeah, I agree.

I see grief. Um, grief is pretty interesting, yeah. I would say that that's true.

Oh, resentment you put separate from bitter. Oh. Yeah, I think resentment is like the manifestation of disagreeableness. It's like when you've given up. It's like I don't necessarily know.

Yes, it could come from being told no too many times. But I think especially if the no was like a self-terminating, determine, you know, deterministic no that ended the conversation. If it was a no that allowed the conversation to continue, I think there is there's a hierarchy to it there where it's like less bad. And I think I think actually I think the cutoff point is the point of disagreeable like. Full on disagreeable like nature of just like full on disconnection to even trying to work with the person.

I think that's where it becomes deadly personally if I had to guess.

Okay, contempt. Let's see, contempt is a sense of standing above a person, everybody. Um, contempt. I I don't necessarily agree with this. I think there are ways to believe stand above another person or.

Group or idea without feeling contemptful. It depends what I mean we say above. I mean, in terms of God, we are all equals, so we are all equals, like in a total sense. In the sense of using hierarchies to determine who should be performing what roles and in what times and what places, or you know, who should whose ideas should be considered for what considerations, you know. Well, well.

There's a hierarchy there, and you know, people aren't necessarily equivalent on that in all ways, right? Obviously. So, I think, I mean, as someone who, I'm just gonna have to say some crazy shit real quick. As someone who was dating a black woman. And has had to learn, you know, frankly, a rural, malnourished, you know, someone who was malnourished when they were younger, you know, was from, worked on a village.

I mean, and and the city was in the city, some and was malnourished in the city, and then went to the village to work on the farm for a while before coming to America. Doesn't speak English that well, doesn't speak French that well, doesn't really speak. I don't think she has that big of a vocabulary in any language, to be honest. But that doesn't matter, right? It's like, I mean, it matters obviously, but.

And it can cause problems. I'm, I'm sure you've had some experience with language barriers in relationships. Um, maybe I shouldn't be too sure, but anyways, um, it. Well, it set me down a path. Well, it, yeah, I'll just leave it at that.

It set me down a path that enlightened me to the reality of the beauty of the true nature of what she is and what beauty there is to be had is for me derived in large part from this hierarchy that I sense and that is palpable and has real meaning to it and is effective, you know, when. Respected, frankly, and and used even for evil. I mean, you know, not that it's a good thing in that case, but yeah. So when you say standing above, I think you need to be careful with what exactly you mean when you say it. Either that, or you need to be careful with, yeah, because it's like.

Contempt is a sense maybe of standing above someone in a total sense, in a sense that you are actually straight up more valuable than them before God. Like that is too far. That that maybe that does. Maybe that's what contempt could be considered. Maybe something like that.

But if you believe that you're equals with people, really. But that when it comes to like acting in the world, that you're not necessarily equals. You know what I mean, like in terms of how things should be run or done or spoken about or existed inside of or whatever. You know what I mean, like that kind of stuff. But yeah, because I think there's a true beauty to the hierarchies in nature, and and and in becoming aligned with them to some degree.

I mean, there are limits to that, but I do think. That is real beauty that I mean, call me crazy, you know what I'm saying? I'm just a big nature freak. I'm just a big tree hugger. I just love nature and rape.

No, sorry, I said trees. I said trees. No, I don't love, I don't love rape. I don't love rape. It is sexy as hell though, unfortunately.

Anyways.

Okay, let's see. Awe is the sense of smallness and exposure in the presence of something vast or incomprehensible. When allowed rather than resisted, it becomes Alignment with a large reality larger than that's cool. Yeah, I think there's different kinds of awe. Like I feel like this is almost like existential awe, like looking up at the universe and thinking there's no God out there and going, oh my God, I'm a little piece of dust, you know?

Or like versus like if Lord of the Rings were real, you know, and you're on the boats and you're getting rowed up and you see these giant ass dwarven or Elven statues like in the waterfalls, you'd probably have like awe to that. You'd probably like, holy fuck, like, and you'd probably feel like that one song, "Life Is Beautiful." From Sixx:A.M., that's how I'll be feeling if I was in that situation. That's the name of the band, okay? Anyways, um, yeah. Last request is let me go listen to the song and see if I think that's a reasonable request now that I think you should listen to it.

Let's see. Let's find out. Let me listen to this for a second. I think I was suspicious of what my answer is gonna be. Let's find out.

Yes, I think I would like to request you to listen to that song. You don't have to or anything, but damn, bro. Because I just listened to it and I think it did help me to evoke the feeling of awe with I think the opposite polarity of what you described here. And also, furthermore, it made me think about cringe, which I think actually ought to be on your list. Cringe, an emotion that should be on this list, an important one, one that's relevant in the modern age.

I'll tell you that much. Because if you are Not cool. You are cringe, and kids will tell you as much. Okay. But here's the thing that the kids don't understand, and why old school can make a comeback sometimes.

Cringe is essentially it's hard to put your finger on exactly what it is. Michael Stevens talks about this from Vsauce. I'll try to here. I think cringe. I should start this in as I'm saying.

I think cringe is. Something like. Well, it can be caused by many things. One potential cause of cringe is improper virtue signaling. Doing something to signal a virtue that people think has been over signaled recently.

Maybe it's gone out of fad. You know, it's cringe. Do something that is old. As though it was novel is cringe. To do something cringe is to.

There are many reasons for cringe. I mean, cringe can also be just, you know, to fail in a romantic pursuit. You know, in a way that's embarrassing can be cringe. It's like the lack of aura, the lack of swagger or charisma or charm, you know, is cringe. But and there's like there's a hierarchy here that I'm failing to establish.

I'm starting to sense it a little bit. But sometimes things that people think are cringe today come back into fashion because the reason they were ever considered cringe in the first place was a temporary one. Perhaps it was a reflection of the meme complex that people existed in at the time, a virtue so well understood that to signal it. Would be considered stupid, but that perhaps has become so lost that now to act as though it's cringe without understanding why in the first place is especially cringe and can be demonstrated, not not explained, but demonstrated, shown, not told, through charisma and charm to an audience who is less of a dumb fuck. Not by explaining who is less of a dumb fuck.

That's for the autistic people. For the average Joe. It's who is funnier, who is more charming, and actually, there's I think, here's my suspicion, a correlation with truth, reality, and a perception of it that you're able to play and demonstrate because people's instincts will perceive that in a way that is undeniable in a moment and in a time when it can't perhaps be said aloud, and is still yet, despite not being said, has been demonstrated perfectly in a way that is undeniable. That's what can sometimes be hilarious, and and the refutation of an accusation of cringe can be the most glorious, you know, form of aura achievable, really, to use the language of the kids. And so there's a spectrum there.

As I was thinking about the music video, thinking to myself how I think it's cringe, and thinking to myself what it means to be cringe, and thinking about the fact that the music video is literally evoking. Something that I believe is deeply important within me, the music itself more so than the video probably, but still. And just saying to myself, and more so just thinking and just saying, you know what, this video maybe it is cringe, maybe it isn't. It seems realistically seems fine to me. My my my threshold for cringe is low.

I don't really think many things are truly cringe. Like I I I tend to, um, I you know, I'm like an intellectual. I'm like. autistic or whatever you want to call it. I'm all, you know, I'm all up there in the head, up in the clouds, type shit. So if people say something that sounds head in the clouds and people might consider cringe, if I think the underlying thing they're saying is actually extremely impactful, I still think it's badass.

And like, there are other people like that. And like, but and but I might be getting lost here. But that's kind of besides the point, I think. It's like, I think there was some connection there, but I lost it. Oh, I'm so hungry now, damn.

Oh my gosh, where was I? So, I guess it makes me think. I think you should watch this music video. If you think it's cringe, maybe it is. Um.

But the music itself, at least for me, evoked a sense of awe that I think has the opposite polarity of. The one that you described here, and one that I think you may not be aware of, the way you described the definition, a sense of smallness and exposure. See, to me, it can be, um, or maybe the definition is fine. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

May, may, I guess, maybe leave it. It is fine. When I read it, I kind of interpreted it more so from the perspective of. Smallness. Usually, smallness is kind of talked about these days with the perspective of, with regards to the universe at large, or something like that, and the insignificance with relation to it.

And then the, you know, the classical Reddit atheist refutation to that is to say that the meaning is whatever you provide to it. I think it's whatever God gives us, hey, call me different. Um, but I appreciate where they're coming from when they say that stuff, but. I don't know. I guess that's what I'm trying to say.

So I think there are two polarities there. There's like the awe of the universe, and then there's the awe of like maybe God's righteous glory or something like that. You could call it or something. I don't know. Where you're like, where, and especially if you feel like you're a part of that, you know.

I mean, look at what those Muslim guys are doing. I think they're in awe when they're slamming the planes into the towers. You know what I mean? They're like, they're like, oh, it's beautiful. Like.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know. So, I think you get the picture.

Okay, and I think I'm responding to all of your stuff now. Time for me to ask Claude to turn this into an HTML page. That's why the fact that I'm low on Claude usage and I'm running an AI app factory, which means I'm gonna need to optimize my usage for reduced, um, usage, which means I'll need to predict how much I'll need it at what times and what places. Right now, before I go to bed, because I'm busy. I work tomorrow.

I had to stay late at the office today, and I gotta go talk to Theo about my car. I can't call him. I can't talk to him because he wants. The money for it. I do want to help him out. [Note: the voice to text got a lot of this section wrong, and David does not remember what the fuck was supposed to be here.] I also feel like the car might low key need help soon, which means I have a lot to do.

And that's just a couple things. And furthermore, I want to get some rest, so I'm probably not gonna do any of that shit right now. Okay. Plus, everything I could do for it, anyways, is like the places are closed, or you know, whatever. I can't do it now, anyways.

So, moral of the story is. Believe in God. I don't know. Moral of the story is hard to elucidate. I could say something gimmicky here.

But you know what? I couldn't. It's an awkward scenario, and in fact, a cringe scenario. An attempt at humor that would have failed. An attempt to say something funny that wouldn't have worked because the pieces aren't lined up enough.

They're almost in the right states, but. Not that even close, really. They're too far away from the truth. It would be unnatural to find equipped with them humorous unless I could find a way to tie together more cleverly. And just at the moment, I can't.

I can't do it. So cringe is all we would be left with. Instead, we'll be left with boredom. Well, sometimes it makes you almost wish for the cringe, you know. All right, time for me to go ask an AI to refine this, check for all the typos and the words that were not translated correctly.

Ask it to put it into a web page for you. It'll probably change some of the wording. I'll try to get it, try try to keep it from doing that. And a, oh, fuck. Um.

And Bob's your uncle.